Letter to the mail list forum members

TO: Members of the email list, Brothers and Sisters, Niece and Nephews ‘lend me your ears’

We came a long way together and conquered. We have made tremendous achievement together as a family, but we have also made many mistakes which we need to correct as adults. We apologize for any behavior which might have caused pain to others intended or not.

Let’s us now critical examine ourselves insofar as our communication strategy, particularly in as far as our email list network, is concerned. Honestly I do not know the person who started the mail list and the intended goal thereof, but I have a strong feeling that the bitter verbal exchanges which characterized communication between certain individuals was certainly not the initial intended goal of the email list.

There is no doubt that the mail list has been hijacked by some unscrupulous individuals who have managed to turn it into a gossip-mongering forum. Some members of this mail list have the audacity to abuse, harass and humiliate others publicly with impunity. It is unacceptably crude for people to use a forum of this nature to settle personal vendettas, and attempt to involve other people in their misguided mission to publicly vilify each other, bringing the family name in disrepute. The tendency to generalize, purporting to represent the interests of a group, faction or some family or religious values is a desperate attempt by these individuals to polarize the family for their own selfish reasons. The family name has been dragged in the mud by these same individuals masquerading as defenders of the family against other members of the family who were often labeled as enemies. These exclusive tendencies played themselves out during family occasions and ceremonies. “Uzwi buzwe kuti no tshwa o bulani?”

Differences between two individuals are often blown out of proportion by copying the dialogue to everyone who cares to read. Misbehavior, disrespect and indiscipline has become the order of the day. All these, has gone unpunished, giving the impression that the family condones these acts of hooliganism. I appeal to those involved to stop this behavior forthwith, even if it means abandoning the email communication group all together. Conflicts between siblings should be handled in a mature manner using an appropriate forum rather than email lists. Email list should be used for productive dialogue and constructive ideas intended for mutual growth and self development. The language used should always be political correct since the public can have access to this information. While we are all entitled to our own opinions and ideas we are not entitled to abuse others with impunity.

Make it a habit to discuss ideas and generate information and skills on how to improve your lives and those around you, rather than who has how many goats and sheep. Desist from petty politics, rumor mongering or any behavior calculated to destroy others but promote mutual respect to foster good interpersonal relations. We need to develop life skills and emotional intelligence to be able to empathize in order to build effective people to people communication strategies.


While I have personal benefited from some of the ideas which emanated from the email discussions, I have on the other hand agonized about instances were negative insinuation were made and directed at our in-laws. The attack on these respectable ladies and gentlemen was in some respect total unwarranted and without any justification whatsoever. I am appealing to all of you to avoid any reference to our brothers and sisters in-law when we have conflict with our siblings. Your quarrel with your siblings should under normal circumstances have nothing to do with their husbands or wives’
Wrong-doing and vice versa. “Nkwasha Letshi to Subula Koga” “Mosadi Tshwene o Jewa Mabogo”

I would like to take this opportunity to make all of us aware that we are all adults and we need to interact as mature people. If we want to live in peace with one another we have to learn to be more tolerant of each other. Let’s recognize that we are all adults who have different interests. We should be more concerned with success or otherwise of our own individual families as mature individuals. “Live and let Live.”

From a humble beginning we are lucky to have received some education which enabled us to enjoy the luxury of some form of economic independence. Let’s be magnanimous and humble ourselves for this modest achievement. Let’s honor and thank our parents for the sacrifices they made to enable us to survive all the odds. We owe it to them and indeed to ourselves to ensure that our children live better lives than us. Other families have achieved far more than us but they don’t go around bragging or insulting each other on the internet to demonstrate their digital literacy. They remain level headed despite their achievements and use their potential for the benefit of others, who may be less fortunate than them. They have not spent most of their energy on tearing each other apart in public in senseless and misdirected power games and hegemony. “Ndo yekhwani uno kama tjingombe tjinwe zwebathu ka kama mbili.”

To have a family of your own you need to marry someone else who is not your sister or brother. It is therefore appropriate that our family members are married or have children with people outside the family. To me this is a welcome development which can actual strengthen us and increase our resource potential. We need to have brothers and sisters in-law for us to be considered a normal family. I am personally proud of all my brothers and sisters in-law and would like to take this opportunity to thank them for the contribution they have made towards the family up keep. I want to extend a hand of friendship to all my sisters and brothers in-law to embrace the Lenyatso home as their second home. My home is your home too, and it’s open to you at all the times. Please don’t hesitate to pay me a visit. We love you and will always accord you the highest respect befitting an in-law, in line with our rich tradition. Our take is that the family will not be complete without you.
I conclude by calling all men and women of good will to rise above petty issues and apply themselves to more substantive issues and challenges facing humanity.

I thank you.
Fathazia Mmani Lenyatso Mmani